Something is missing

Feels something is missing. Lack of some sort of thing. Just feel ain't complete today. Makes me feeling kinda down and helpless. Don't know where to look for that missing part. :(

The second he picked up the call, I started to teared. I really don't know why. My body feels weak. Lay on the bed, with the phone and started to cry when he asked me what happened. I said I miss you. He didn't say a word. He didn't comfort me. He didn't say anything. That moment, everything seem miserable. And I hung up.

I know why. He's having final exam from Monday onwards, yet he still haven't master the formulas completely. He is stress. How about me? I feel totally lost.

I used to feel happy by just looking at him, when he is busy with his studies. I'll just sit nearby him and watch. Sometimes, he get distracted. But it's better than not seeing him at all the whole week.

Anyway, so I had a bottle of beer while I was crying. Thought I'll get drunk in some way. But nope, I'm still so awake and typing this.

Ah, I guess I'm just sad. I miss going anywhere with car, with him, with friends. It's just so not me anymore. Everyday stay in, homework, study. I miss playing with my cats. Seeing how lazy are they and sleep beside me while I'm watching TV. I miss home. My bed. Some extra space for me to go. I miss my toilet that's connected with my room, and it's warm.

I wanna go home. :(